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    December 31

    我不想想太多

      今天是2006 年的倒数第2天了,突然下了一场雪。雪很白,净化着空气,也净化着我的心。我总是安慰我自己,是我想得太多了吧!从你电脑里看见的照片中的她只是你的朋友吧!我有千万种猜测,但我都愿意相信你们只是朋友。
      下午上完课,准确地说还没有来得及上课,呵呵。我和春,喵在学校里照了好多雪景,很开心,突然一下忘掉了不开心的事情,但是当我坐上回家的车时,我又忍不住想起我看见你电脑里的她。不经意间我想起了你电脑桌子上的十字秀,因为我原来曾经开玩笑的说,这个是不是你原来女朋友送的,因为上面清清楚楚地写着“我们永远在一起”署名是闹闹爱呆呆。很显然的情侣的东西,你一直摆在那里。但是,当时你却说,只是一个朋友送的,我相信了。但是当我在想起这件事时,我却有种莫名的怀疑。真的,女人的直觉真的很准。到家后,我打开电脑,我知道你肯定在网上,我们语音,但是我却不知道要跟你说什么,想要问你,但是怕伤了感情。我只能沉默以对。后来,我还是忍不住问了Lily,问她你原来的外号,有没有叫呆呆或是闹闹的,结果和我想得一样。当我看完Lily的短信时,我忍不住失声哭了起来。那会我都忘记了正在和你语音,你问我怎么了,我不说,你就说在我家门口等我,我以为你只是说说,结果你真的来了。
      当我看到你的时候,其实我气都没有了。但你问我怎么了,我又突然想起你骗我,我的心真的有种痛得感觉。我哭了,你紧紧抱着我,让我的泪水恣意地蹭在你的衣服上,但是我们却是说不出话。你承认这件事你错了,说骗我只是不想让我瞎想。我最讨厌人家骗我,我之前就说过,你知道的!我让你早点回家,你走了,在你转身的霎那,我的泪水不听话的落下来,我走入人群,不想让你注意到。
      我很爱你,你是第一个我想要托付的人,正因为太在乎你,才会更生气你骗我。不管是多小的事情,我也希望你的坦诚相待。我知道你爱我,但是这件事情已经影响我们的感情了,但是我还是没有想过要离开你,我只是想平静一下,多给我时间,让时间冲淡这一切,我不想想太多!!!

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